25-06-03

Disconnection.

I'm a bit washed out, I think it's the Lioresal.  The doctor said that would be pretty normal, anyhow, that might be part of the relaxing effect.  But seriously, on the road back to home with my handbike I didn't say much, I'm so fatigued.
I sent a mail to the immo office because I want to speak to the owner of t hat studio.  I just want to tell him a few of my ideas, because since nothing is installed yet it is the perfect time to try and convince the owner off making a few adaptations for life.  I'd also like to see the space inside, to get an idea if it's going to be large enough for me.  But I think so, because my wheelchair is very small.
When Ruben and I were biking back to my home, we bumped in to Anneleen (you see, she'd have seen me after all).  So, my first impression wasn't so good.  but  it's like Ruben leads two lifes, one with friends of his age and one with me, and actually I'm a bit doubting of witch he likes the most.  Well, off cours he likes this way too, because he happens to love me.  But when we see soeone he knows, he just talks and talks and he enjoys it, but there is no word that I can say, because there is nothing I know about what he talks about with them.  I think he'd really miss that if he didn't have that anymore.  If he didn't have me anymore, he'd mos t likely get over it after a while.
He is really showing me Aalter bit by bit, and I like it, it's just a pitty that I don't heve friends of my age around here.  But Aalter is ok already.
He's there, making fun, I'm here, waiting my turn to have fun...

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Set the right focus... Everybody has a behaviour adapted to the person he/she interacts with, even if you wouldn't say that or notice that from yourself...

...so get over this and accept this as a natural thing. Asking yourself which one of his "dual" lives he prefers is irrelevant : he shares with you unique experiences that nobody else can give you ! Ain't that pretty unique and cherishable enough ? What matters is that he finds pretty enjoyable the time he spends with you. Now up to you to make those moments interesting, unique and ... why not, unforgettable ? It's what you put in it that will make *you both* find those precious moments unmissable :-)

So set the focus on "what's in this relationship for the two of us". Don't compare with what he likes elsewhere : you can't compete there and it's pointless anyway ! The worst you could do is develop some jealousy. The best you could do is enjoy when he's happy, whatever the circumstances.

Gepost door: aSchwarzie | 28-06-03

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