Ready or not.

Ruben and me had some quite upsetting phone calls from each other.  Tomorrow evening we're going to talk it over.  I just want him not to go away with his parents.  The least bit that is not ok with me, now makes me freak.  All stupid things happen, but it's getting too much, it's annoying me with some hateful feeling, watching me to blow up all stuff in everybody's face.  I don't feel ok, I feel upset.
Ruben mailed me this beautiful song tonight:

Bette Midler - The Rose


Some say love, it is a river

That drowns the tender reed.

Some say love, it is a razor

That leaves your soul to bleed.

Some say love, it is a hunger,

An endless aching need.

I say love, it is a flower,

And you it's only seed.


It's the heart, afraid of breaking,

That never learns to dance.

It's the dream, afraid of waking,

That never takes a chance.

It's the one who won't be taken,

Who cannot seem to give.

And the soul, afraid of dying,

That never learns to live.


When the night has been too lonely,

And the road has been too long,

And you think that love is only

For the lucky and the strong,

Just remember in the winter

Far beneath the bitter snows,

Lies the seed, that with the sun's love,

In the spring becomes the rose

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